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So I only told her about things she could fix. That way dvd at least my mom stayed unbroken. "My boobs don't fit" was always a popular reason. Who could argue with that? "It's tight in the arms" was also safe. For some reason, "tight in the arms" was not as hard hitting as, "I'm a fat fuck, Mom. Just wrap me up in a tarp, put some lipstick on me, and roll me in the direction of The John Sheridan." We dvd finally found what we dvd were looking for in the Mother of the Bride department: a tight pink crêpe dress with a dropped waist and Peter Pan collar. Pleats fell down the front of the dress. Mom said they drew the eye away from my Area, a term I used when referring to my ever-burgeoning belly. Of course pleats drew the eye away; that would tend to be the case when one's eyes had so many other places on which to feast. It was not my first choice, but first-choice outfits didn't come in my size.
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