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ap wire, albert, fatsex, database, photo, literary, anaisreboux, chartzz, tremendous, waters, and teen plumper, gender studies womens studies, conversationswith the fat girl, fat naked woman, anais reboux, fat black hoe, interviews, you have to enjoy self-deferential humor. you have to strike yourself first, before someone else does. you have to laugh loud, and long and hard. nobody likes a bitter fat girl. i don’t hurt people with my words. but i hate myself, i hate the vessel, this body, this facade that is me. i hate that i am locked in a body too big for b000bkvh1a society’s taste. b000bkvh1a i hate that i am b000bkvh1a weak and afraid to change it. hate is a strong words. hating is a passionate affair and it is with passion that i dislike myself. i am my biggest fan and my very worst enemy. i am a fat girl. don’t pity me. i’ve let men use and abuse me. i’ve done morally questionable things all for the sake of love.
i am a chartzz fat girl. self-esteem doesn’t live here, there is no sense of self-worth. there are many glimmers chartzz of hope, a knowledge that deep-down inside, behind the emotional baggage and under the layers of fat, there is someone worth loving, knowing and befriending. but that small portion of sparkling wonderfulness gets buried a bit deeper everyday. it goes deeper with each ’why bother’ glance of people at the gym. deeper still with the strange looks from waiters when you order a salad and a diet coke. and even deeper still when chartzz you realize that nothing matters except how you look. i am a fat girl. i hate myself most days. that’s not true. generally i like myself. i am a good person, smart, funny, creative and talented. you have to be something when you are a fat girl. you have to be quick and funny. you have to smile and be nice.
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