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fatty deposits , ring, remote control, skins, beer belly, n 3 fatty acids , realistic vagina anus, texas bbw dating, free upskirt, chubby girls , burning fat, chunky, voyeurs, latina, masturbation, asian pussy, sex search, pornstar, bare, | To conclude, here's a scene-by-scene, or actually, beer-by-beer breakdown of my personal viewing of TLOTR:TFOTR:SEE. Crack a cold Schlitz (or Hamm's if you're feeling spendy) and enjoy. BEER #1 Hmm, interesting. The opening sequence is a bit longer than the theatrical version. chubby daddy I don't know if it's necessary, but it does include some important background information. I love the shot of the nine kings of men. It's so foreboding and eery. BEER #2-6 I wonder chubby daddy how much longer this opening sequence is going to last. I need more Sauron kicking ass, less Cate Blanchett blah, blah, blah. chubby daddy This calm before the storm, if you will, is a good opportunity to note the similarities between Middle-earth and World War II Europe. Although Tolkien always scorned such comparisons ... wow, do I have to pee. BEER #7 Finally! It's over. I guess it's true what they say about excessive narration and exposition: I need another beer. |
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But here it is! Hot off the server and ready to read: So, for my wife's birthday, I bought her THE chunky LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING: Special Extended Edition Collector's DVD Gift Set. Along with her five DVDs, she got some sweet Pillars of Argonath bookends. Those babies will go nicely on my desk. Our desk. I meant "our" desk. And after whipping up my special beef stroganoff, I cracked a case of Schlitz, and chunky we settled in for the three-and-a-half-hour epic adventure. Afterwards, I said to chunky myself, "Sauron--" (I always refer to myself by the Dark Lord's moniker). I said, "Sauron, you should write a review for the Clark Schpiell. I mean, if a lesbian can do it, so can you." And I replied to myself, "Sauron, you're right. I should. God knows I haven't written anything since moving to LA, this cultural wasteland, this good-taste black hole, so why not a good, old-fashioned, pussy-loving movie review?" |
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