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You look around the restaurant.... its crowded and there is little room to maneuver between the tables. You briefly consider trying to pop revive the conversation, but she's pulling her coat on; you have to get up. So you slowly slide back from pop the table, remove your napkin, and stand pop up, hoping that no one is watching as you suck your stomach in and squeeze between chairs and tables and waiters and waitresses working the floor. You have errands to run. You could go to the library and do some research, but you're tired, so you go home, because when you're at home, you can pretend that everything is fine. When you're at home, you can ignore the stares and snickers and looks of pity, disgust, or both. You haven't always been this way. There was a time when you were thin, happy, outgoing, but it's getting harder and harder to remember that time, and sometimes, you think it's all a daydream, a mental pacifier.
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