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Bush, Elton John and Sting (now there's an implausible trio), but in addition Crowe read out some mock communications, one allegedly from the staff of London's Zuma restaurant (scene of his hot fat girls most recent drunken brawl) thanking him profusely for not choosing hot fat girls their restaurant as a reception venue. There was another supposedly from Malcolm Gerrie, the BBC producer responsible for the broadcast of last year's BAFTA awards, the ones that went to air unencumbered by bad poetry, as you will recall. Gerrie's cable warned Crowe that, as a married man, "he'd best be ready to be cut off in his prime and having to deal with it". There was laughter, there were tears: Crowe almost broke down as he paid tribute to his mother and father and recalled the moment at which they introduced the young Maximus to the giddy world of lights, camera and action: while working as caterers on '60s TV show Spyforce.
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