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| gauri, article, has beens, thesydney morning herald, fat plump , nothing, transport, exporter, australian racehorse shares, madonna, movies, sex, children's books, press release, rap, anthony mundine, nimbin, plump thumbs , the adventures of barry mckenzie, | Approximately 2 hours and 15 minutes left. You enter the automatic doors into the consumer haven for capitalists and soak it all up. Unfortunately your soaking is disrupted by a bitch with a pram and 6 kids pushing you out of young plump the way in order to rush to Target to buy the latest hot pink and glitter padded bras by the Olsen plague. Where to start? Since you young plump know you'll be here for a while, you waste no time and head straight for Gloria Jean's for that caffeine hit necessary in order young plump to battle the mosh in each store. Glancing at your watch, you see you have 2 hours left. Shit. You haven't bought a thing. You better start rushing like the rest of the consumer trolls. First stop, The $2 Shop. I believe this is the best store to score presents for your snarky relatives who you see only once a year as it is too torturous to deal with them on a regular basis. |
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| You swear to God, Buddha, Allah and all other religious icons and contemplate anthony mundine getting out of your car and running your key around the paint of the car that's in your space. You, however, do not do this, anthony mundine but note the make, anthony mundine model and license plate number of the car in order to do some standard re-con and shit later. So the search begins again. You keep going round and round and round again until finally you realise you've spent 40 minutes driving around looking for a place to park. So instead of obeying the laws of the car park, you turn down a lane where the arrow is pointing the opposite way and tempt fate as you swerve to miss colliding with a bunch of dickheads who are lucky enough to be leaving. FINALLY, you park. You slam the door as you get out. You kick the car next to yours. And you storm into the shopping centre preparing to unleash hell on the sales assistants who you blame for this colossal nightmare. You check your watch and the parking ticket from hell. |
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